301-593-5285 Email Us
  • LinkedIn
Debra Levy Eldercare Associates print logo
  • Home
     
     
  • Our
    Services
     
    • Care Management
    • Debbie’s Angels
    • WellSenior™
    • How We Can Help
    • Frequently Asked Questions
    • For Attorneys
    • For Financial Advisors
    • For Medical Providers
    • For Assisted Living Communities
  • Locations
    We Serve
     
    • Care manager in Bethesda
    • Care manager in Chevy Chase
    • Care manager in Potomac
    • Care manager in Washington, DC
    • Care manager in Frederick
    • Care manager in Silver Spring
    • Care manager in Rockville
  • Insights
    on
    Aging
    • Physical changes
    • Emotional changes
    • Mental changes
    • Your strengths
    • Your legacy
    • WellSenior Blog
  • Staying
    Independent
     
    • Hospitalizations
    • Managing Medications
    • Preventing Falls
    • Driving Safely
  • Memory
    Loss
    (Dementia)
    • What is dementia?
    • How dementia affects family life
    • Early stage of dementia
    • Middle stage of dementia
    • Late stage of dementia
    • Final stage of dementia
    • Help for families
  • Tips
    and
    Tools
    • Changing Roles
    • Coping with Stress
    • Dealing with Family
    • Educating Yourself
    • Finding Help
    • Newsletter for Families
  • Important
    Documents
     
    • Financial planning
    • Quality of life
    • Health care planning
    • MOLST
  • Home
  • Request Info
  • Search
  • Check Out Our
    Coronavirus Updates
  • Learn
    About Us
  • Request
    Information
  • Tell Us
    About Your Concerns
Serving Bethesda; Chevy Chase; Potomac; Washington, DC; Frederick; Silver Spring; Rockville and surrounding communities
 
April/May 2011
Home / April/May 2011 Print
Font size
    • A A A
 - D
"I know I should pick someone to make decisions when I can't. I'm just not sure how to decide who it should be."
301-593-5285

About Us

Debra Levy Eldercare Associates has been providing care and support for older adults and their families since 1988. Learn more about us and about our services by giving us a call at 301-593-5285.

Save trees! Subscribe online at AgingWellMetroDC.com

Our Monthly Newsletter
Helpful tips for family caregivers

April/May 2011 Print

How to choose a health care decision maker

National Healthcare Decisions Day is April 16, a day when all Americans are encouraged to complete or review their advance directive. The advance health care directive allows you to name someone to act as your “agent” if you become unable to speak for yourself. That person becomes your “medical power of attorney.” Your family member should have an advance directive. So should you!

The best choice for a health care agent is someone who is

  • willing to listen. Someone you feel comfortable talking to about life support issues. Choose someone you know will put aside his or her own preferences to follow your instructions.
  • willing to act. Someone levelheaded who will advocate on your behalf. Who is not afraid to ask questions or demand answers. Who can make difficult decisions, especially under pressure. Who won’t be intimidated by other family members. (Ideally your agent would be someone who can be firm and yet communicate diplomatically enough to encourage others to rise to their wisest selves.)
  • nearby and available. Someone who lives relatively close by who could readily shift their responsibilities and get to you in an emergency.

Also keep in mind that

  • you can rewrite your health directive at any time. Your wishes or views may change over time. Just make sure whomever you name as your agent has a copy of the current document.
  • you cannot choose your doctor. Ideally your agent is a friend or family member. But do not choose someone out of guilt. (And when working with your relative, be open and understanding if he or she does not choose you.)
  • you can name at least one back-up agent. But do not make them co-agents. Having co-agents proves difficult if there is a disagreement.

 

Return to top

Keeping your relative safe from fraud

Elders are favorite targets for scam artists.

The most common fraud scams against elders include

  • prizes and sweepstakes. The elder is told they’ve “won” but must first send in money to cover the taxes.
  • magazine sales. They order a subscription but the magazine never shows up.
  • product or service fraud. They are sold “anti-aging” products or home improvement services but the goods/services are worthless. Or they pay money up front for work that is never done. Some schemes include funeral or cemetery services.
  • phishing schemes. Someone calls claiming to represent a bank or business. The elder is asked to verify their financial information or is told to call an 800 number to do so.
  • Internet fraud. They respond to a bogus email or Internet sales offer by providing their credit card information, birth date, or social security number.

To help keep your loved one safe

  • watch for changes in lifestyle or financial activity. For example, more spending than usual or more money worry than usual. Your relative may be embarrassed to admit they’ve been scammed.
  • check out unusual “new friends.” Ask to meet and get to know your parent’s new friend. A con artist won’t stick around!
  • help research organizations. Before purchases or donations are made, request written information about the organization. Verify claims of nonprofit status.
  • shred sensitive documents before disposal. Anything with a social security number or account number. Even offers for new credit cards because they could be used to open a false account.
  • seek nearby support. Especially if you live out of town, ask a friend or neighbor to keep an eye out.

If you suspect that fraud has occurred

  • contact local law enforcement immediately and file a report.
  • contact the bank, investment company, or credit card company to have transactions monitored or stopped.

 

Return to top

The journey of late life

“Life after eighty rarely ends suddenly and unexpectedly in our sleep,” states Dr. Dennis McCullough, in his book My Mother, Your Mother. Instead, caring for an aging relative is more commonly a journey of many years. As a geriatrician and care provider to his late mother, he knows this terrain well.

McCullough outlines eight “stations” in the journey of late life. For each one, he offers insights and tips to help you counter the modern system of “fast medicine” with personalized solutions he calls “slow medicine.”

  • Stability. A time of preparation. Get to know your relative at baseline. Stay 72 hours and observe what’s “normal.” Begin to build a support community. Learn about aging.
  • Compromise. The advent of symptoms. Stay in touch and informed about emerging health problems. Diplomatically join your relative and work together as a team when considering options.
  • Crisis. A major event, typically involving ER and hospitalization. Get involved. Look backward and forward to prevent future problems. Rally the support community.
  • Recovery. Often a lengthy process of rehabilitation. Stay involved. Learn what’s needed for recovery. Practice sustained community support. Encourage your relative’s patience. Assess support needs for his or her “new normal.”
  • Decline. An obvious drift into frailty. Frequently precipitates a move into a care facility. Stay engaged. Protect your loved one from loss of identity.
  • Prelude to Dying. A change in spirit that acknowledges death as a real possibility. This period often starts weeks or months before actual passing. Enroll in hospice (3 – 6 months of service is optimal). Visit; give attention. Ask their life story. Cope with the uncertainty.
  • Death. The last few days. A time of honoring your relative’s end-stage desires. Advocate as necessary. Address anxiety, yours and theirs. Provide comfort, often touch.
  • Grieving/Legacy. An intensely personal experience, often lasting years. Look for opportunities to reminisce.

 

Return to top
Call 301-593-5285
Fill in this form and one of our caring staff will get back to you.
  • Newsletter
    • Past Issues
  • Testimonials
  • Local Providers in Metro DC
  • Resources for You
    • For People Wishing to Age Well
    • For Families with Aging Parents
    • For Legal-Financial Professionals

(This message is encrypted. Nevertheless, please be mindful of privacy concerns.)

SHARE PAGE
Serving Bethesda; Chevy Chase; Potomac; Washington, DC; Frederick; Silver Spring; Rockville and surrounding communities
 
  • 301-593-5285
  • Email Us
  • 11120 New Hampshire Ave., Suite 505,
    Silver Spring, MD 20904
  • LinkedIn

This website is sponsored by Debra Levy Eldercare Associates. We are your first choice when looking for a care manager or companion in the Metro DC area. Call us at 301-593-5285.

  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Site Map
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Cookie Policy
  • Feedback

© 2002-2021, Debra Levy Eldercare Associates. Site created by Elder Pages Online, LLC.